Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Through good times and through bad

In adoption we are to take each other through the good times and the bad. One of the hardest things in parenting older children is convincing them that we will love them through the good times and the bad. We will love them through obedience and disobedience. We will love them when they show love to us and when they shy away from us. We will love them for being A-students and for being the ones who struggle for years just trying to grasp the most simplest of concepts. We love them for their laughter and through their tears. We will still love them after we tell them how disappointed we are for a certain act or behavior. We will love them when they cling to us and when they run away from home.

It ain't easy, but we promised them. When we took our children in we promised them that they matter to us, to the rest of the family and especially to Jesus. We promised them that they will never be alone again. We promised them that they will always have a home to come home to. We promised them that we will do everything in our power to protect them from harm. We promised to raise them in the Lord and His Love, mercy and admonition.

We have to let them be children after knowing that they spent so much time being little adults. It's hard to let them be children and try to get them to mature at the same time. So many disconnects in their lives where they have stopped maturing in parts of their psyche's and having to be hypermature in others. We have to work at getting all the parts to run in unison within their hearts and minds.

We try.

3 comments:

chinamom said...

Oh, how you hit the nail on the head. For those of us who have adopted older kids, they come with baggage. They have had to deal with so much when all they should have had to do was be a child. Sometimes it is hard to look past their actions but God is faithful to give us his grace. He brought these beautiful children in to our lives for a reason and a purpose and he brought us into their lives for a reason and a purpose. He is faithful.

Irma said...

You and Juan are amazing.

Karis said...

Praying for strength, wisdom, joy, and endurance for your beautiful family -- your statement, "We have to let them be children after knowing that they spent so much time being little adults," made me stop and think... and pause... and say a quiet, "wow." Blessings to you all during your transition.