Wednesday, March 18, 2009

From parents with attachment Challenged Children

An Open Letter....
I thought it may be of benefit to write an open letter from adoptive parents with attachment challenged children ... to the rest of the world.

Maybe you could learn something to help a parent/child you know.

Please know that when our children are standing sullen by our side, they do not need you to pick them up or otherwise "love on" them... but they need a verbal praise from you such as "Good job for standing there so nicely by your mom". Ignore the look on their face and praise the obedience that they are complying with.

Please know that when our children are crying or whining because everyone else has something that they don't ... it's okay.
We have our reasons.
Please know that they deserve no sympathy or attention from you when they've chosen to disobey or are throwing themselves on the floor in rage.
Please know that our children need prayer.
Please know that their parents need prayer.
Please don't be offended when we ask you not to hold our kids or give them food.... those are things reserved for their mom/dad until they are healthy.
Please know that if we keep them home from activities that their siblings get to go to, it's because they need to earn those things and we are teaching to our children's character development.
Please know that just because we parent them differently, we are not mean.
Please know that we love our kids.
Please know that we never chose this ... and we certainly did not create it.


HennHouse said...

thank you

Anonymous said...

Thank you and amen. Just had a conversation last night with someone helping them to understand why we deal with our one son the way that we do. Can I share this post?

Pamela Dawn said...

Hi Beachgirlcp! You sure can shaare this post- My husband and I get all kinds of questions, statements, etc- about it all- the adoptions, the behavior, -;) sure does make life interesting!- Blessings to you- Pam

Nancy said...

Pamela Dawn,

I loved this post.

Nancy Marie