Whew!

It has been a whirlwind summer so far. I know I have not posted as much as I normally have. There are lots of reasons...Our trip to Africa which just about did my legs in. (I have had horrible leg cramps since then), husband's loss of his job, and my hours at work changing and being cut back. Add to this 3 new little ones - 7 total. That has doubled all my life chores, i.e. laundry and meals - lots of meals!! We had my daughter and her family come with friends in tow.

Then Juan gets a new job and has training out of town - for a month! In the middle of this we moved to a new city, into another home. I had to pack the hold house, and change utilities. I had to do the entire move by myself because Juan doesn't have any vacation time yet. I had to register the kids into 4 new schools, talk with all the guidance counselors, set up ESL, set up testing, take the kids for physicals, and immunisations.

Now this obviously isn't my first adoption, but this adoption just sent me into huge postpartum "baby blues". Who am I kidding; I am (was) flat out depressed. Then, on top of the depression, I was feeling guilty that I was depressed. I was afraid to talk to anyone about it since I'm the one that wanted to adopt - so why would I be depressed? I was also afraid to talk about it because depression is so misunderstood. Well meaning people wanting to to say that it is a spiritual problem. "Just get right with God." I know that I am totally right with God and I'm still depressed! Depression is an illness and it can get better or worse - but it is treatable. I am so thankful that I have a good doctor and I am now being treated. I am also thankful for my closest friends who have been with me through this the whole time. I feel a lot better and I am not crying all day!

Each day I am becoming more and more like my old self. So if I've missed returning any e-mails - email again! I am on the road back!

ANGELS, ANGELS, ANGELS....

THANK YOU LORD FOR YOUR ANGELS!!!

Friday- yea, Daddy coming home tonight-
We had a full morning, 7 kids, one mom in our 12 passenger van. Off, we went on a ton of stops- One store for a few school things, and one store for a few food things-- (thankfully just a few bags)
Then off to find our first park in our new city. We found the park, and off the kids went to explore and to play on the swings and slides. I opened the windows and started a book...
About 45 minutes later, the kids came running back- everyone getting hungry.- So, I tried to start the van, Oh No, it didn't start- Oh Lord, what do I do? All 7 kids more thank 5 miles from our house?
ANGELS??!!-- A beautiful lady was in the car next to the van. And as I was trying to start the van, she was coming around the side of the van.
When I saw her I had the window down, and she said- " The Lord told me to give you this to buy lunch for the kids- they are so cute....
" Oh thank you God, You are in control and You are here...
I jumped out of the van, and asked her to pray with me for the van to just start- (wouldn't that be neat??!!)
Well, it didn't start- but this wonderful angel, sent from God, put the kids in her car and off we went home-
She and I had a wonderful time of fellowship. God had this time all planned out for us-
We don't know anyone in this city yet to even call for help-
But God knows and God cares.
My wonderful husband got home and off we went to jump the van- And today got a new battery and the van is just fine now.
The Lord is teaching me He is in control and He is taking care of me and my kids...;)
I am listening to HIm! I love you Lord--
Blessings, Pam

THREE MORE WEEKS...

ONLY 3 MORE WEEKS OF ONE PARENT!!

ANGELS

Angels....
We are now officially moved. And totally out of the house in the Outer Banks. Now, in the house up in VA. I am still working down at the beach one to two days a week. We have some Angel friends that are helping me with the kids to be able to be at the beach while I am working. Thank you so much Lord for your angels.
The girls are great babysitters- but not when both parents are several hours away in different cities... God is so faithful and I am so thankful for such wonderful friends.
Sometimes is is very hard to accept help- God is showing me how to and God is showing me His love and grace. At this point, I really need the help.
THANK YOU GOD- for all of your Angels......

The 10 commandments

This is just a thought. Our pastor at Nags Head Church has been doing an extended series on the life of Moses. He has started on when the LORD God gave to Moses, to give to the people, "The Ten Commandments". Of course volumes upon volumes of material has been written and will be written on the commandments and The Law. What I gather is that The Law provides us two things. One is a set of guide lines like those on the highway. They keep us from running into each other on the road and from running off the road. The other is to show us that we're not perfect and God is.

No matter how many lessons/sermons I hear on The Ten Commandments, I will always hear something new and awe inspiring. But no matter how many lessons/sermons I hear, I always remember the one that said - One of the reasons God gave us these laws was because He loves us and wanted the best in life for us. Just like parents give rules/laws to their kids for their own good, God did the same for us. The one thing I remember is when the speaker said something like this; Imagine what life would be like if everyone were to actually follow these laws (we realize that our flesh keeps us from doing it, so our imagination has a difficult time with it, but try to follow along anyway).

Imagine, if we didn't lie to each other - Ever! We could trust every one. Of course we wouldn't need lawyers, written contracts, judges, courts, and the divorce rate would plummet. Imagine if we didn't steal from each other - Ever! No police, lawyers, judges, fights, courts, jails. Imagine if we didn't murder each other - Ever! No military, wars, terrorists, police, lawyers, judges, courts, jails. Imagine if we were all virgins at our weddings and never stepped out of our marriage vows - Ever! No babies born out of wed-lock, no STD's, no lawyers, judges, no step people, divorce rates and abortions would go way down. Imagine if we loved and honored our parents - Always! No "disfunctional families", no nursing homes, we'd have great family unions and not need reunions. Imagine if we didn't envy what our neighbors had - Ever! The Joneses would just be neighbors and not the ones driving us to work ourselves to distraction and destruction.

Now imagine if we all loved the Lord God with all our hearts, minds and souls - Forever! I can't begin to imagine what life would be like on this earth.

It doesn't take a PhD in theology to see how great life would be...does it?

What I hate about moving

One of the parts I hate about moving is looking for and starting over again in a new church family/group. We pray that the Lord leads us to where He wants us to serve. We try to stay out of the way of His leading, but I'm human... We try not to find a duplicate of the church we had to leave, that's the hardest thing to do. The music and singing worship will be good, but different. The children's church/Sunday school will be good, but different. The small group gatherings will be good, but different. As much change as we've endured over the years, it's still challenging to accept change. It's stressful, it's tiring, it's scary.

We went to Believer's Church today. I'm fairly sure they are a Baptist church without the denominational tagging. The people there were all very friendly and inviting. The music was good, the facilities were very nice. Unfortunately the lead pastor was out for vacation so, we'll go back again when he returns. We realize the pastor is not the church by any means, but we kind of get the jist of where the flock is by getting to know the lead pastor. You know, where is the leader going; how close is he following the LEADER?

We have a couple other churches in the area that were suggested to us, so we'll visit them as well. Please pray that our eyes and ears will be open to the Lords leading. We need a place to serve and a place for our children to grow and be nourished.

We've moved in - Sort of

This will be short.

The movers picked up our household goods on Wednesday and delivered them on Thursday.

Boxes, Boxes, Boxes! Moving into a smaller home with half the storage space is a nightmare for Pam. Thankfully, we have a 2 car garage. We plan on using half of it for storage. I'll have to put up some type of lane barrier in order to avoid the creeping clutter disease from taking hold.

The commute!! 10 minutes from driveway to parking lot. Even when I worked on the Beach my commute was 45 minutes. I'm loving it! Of course I can't say that too loud; since Pam is working from home, she will be going back to the Beach a couple times a week. Not good, but she still can't beat the commute for the other days. about 10 feet from bed to computer desk.

I saw our kids talking to some neighborhood kids in the backyard today. That made my heart feel good.

Next week I start my next phase of training in Richmond. I'll stay there during the week and come home for the weekends. 4 weeks!! Yuck!

Well, gotta go put beds together.

Last Day on the Beach

I've lived all around the world (literally) and I didn't grow up anywhere near any beaches (unless you count the rocky shores of Lake Superior where the water is ice cold year round). In the almost 3 years here, we have grown to absolutely love the beach life. It's almost like year round vacation. The attitude on the beach is different. People's outlook on life is different here. It's almost like Hawaii, but the tans are MUCH lighter! :o)~

This is where seeing a deck full of flip flops is normal. It's where having an outdoor shower is not only normal, but necessary. It's where people go to church in tank tops, shorts and flip flops (their Sunday best flip flops, mind you). This is where people warn you that projects could be postponed because the Rock Fish (or whatever species) are running and you're about to lose half or all of your crew to fishing poles. Our church holds surf-camps rather than soccer camps. Our youth group meets on the beach in swim suits, to play beach games, and hold Bible talks. Half the population here deals directly with tourists (or tourons as we call them(behind their backs of course)) and the other half deals indirectly supporting the others.

We were blessed with the beautiful house right on the Currituck Sound, with a million dollar view of the sunset every night. And then we're only a 10 min drive to the Atlantic for a dip in the sandy, salty, soothing ocean. We've learned to overlook the crowded conditions of summer, and to cherish the quiet solitude of the rest of the year.

Everything has its trade offs of course. It's very expensive here. For example, gas is 20 cents more than just over the bridge from here, and 30 cents more than in Chesapeake. Groceries are expensive. Because we're such a small place, there a things that you don't get a lot of choices to pick from. The people here are great and we have a fantastic church family, yet the population here is rather, "homogeneous"; something we've grown accustomed to, but it really stands out when we leave the beach to go anywhere else.

We're not going to be far, and we will be able to come back rather frequently, but it's not the same as living here. There's nothing like it in the world.

Some struggles:

Struggles:

Our oldest son "J" is so immature for an 11 year old. Now, granted he's a boy and boys mature slower than girls, but he's really struggling. Our mantra lately has been - THINK! Think before you act. We're continually having to tell him to be careful around the little ones. After so many years of running the streets and playing with other street kids, being careful around younger ones does not come naturally. At times he does try, and I have to keep playing those times over in my head to remind me not to lose it.

Our youngest son "D" is struggling so much with the language. Where his sister is putting together 5-10 words for a sentence, he still struggles coming up with 1 word sentences in response to questions. His older brother is struggling, but he will come up with 3-4 words together, and sometimes more when he's on a roll. "D" is working on his whining. The Johnson family doesn't much tolerate whiners and tattle-tails. He's gotten to where he doesn't do it around the parents unless he's being reprimanded for something.

Our youngest daughter has begun to distance herself from us (the parents) some. I'm not sure if it's a matter of she thought she needed to be extra jovial to begin with and now she's calmed down or she is exhibiting a delayed symptoms of mild attachment disorder. We'll keep watching and praying.

We've been home with the kids a little over a month and we're moving out of town (not far, but far enough to have to change churches, doctors, schools, etc). STRESS!!! This is especially stressful for Pam. She'd been trying to transition her position at work for a replacement, but that person didn't work out. So now she's prayerfully considering taking on a flexible way of working it partly at home on a lap top and driving back a couple times a week. All that while trying to figure out packing, changing utilities, preparing to visit the new schools for the 3 newest recruits.

Prayer needs - Wisdom, Strength, Family Unity, Tenderheartedness, (and as much as I hate to say this) Patience.

Through good times and through bad

In adoption we are to take each other through the good times and the bad. One of the hardest things in parenting older children is convincing them that we will love them through the good times and the bad. We will love them through obedience and disobedience. We will love them when they show love to us and when they shy away from us. We will love them for being A-students and for being the ones who struggle for years just trying to grasp the most simplest of concepts. We love them for their laughter and through their tears. We will still love them after we tell them how disappointed we are for a certain act or behavior. We will love them when they cling to us and when they run away from home.

It ain't easy, but we promised them. When we took our children in we promised them that they matter to us, to the rest of the family and especially to Jesus. We promised them that they will never be alone again. We promised them that they will always have a home to come home to. We promised them that we will do everything in our power to protect them from harm. We promised to raise them in the Lord and His Love, mercy and admonition.

We have to let them be children after knowing that they spent so much time being little adults. It's hard to let them be children and try to get them to mature at the same time. So many disconnects in their lives where they have stopped maturing in parts of their psyche's and having to be hypermature in others. We have to work at getting all the parts to run in unison within their hearts and minds.

We try.