Pam and I will be facilitating a new "Small Group" from our church, Community Church of Chesapeake. We met last night for the very first time. We are a set of 4 families that all live within a mile or so of each other, so we share geographical closeness as a commonality. We all have children. Some are home-schooled, and some public.
We also hosted two missionary couples last night, because this weekend is missionary weekend at church. One couple participates in "church planting" in the inner city of Norfolk. The other couple is preparing to move to La Paz, Mexico to work at a youth outreach camp. Both couples were able to tell us about what they are doing and what their visions are for what they are doing.
The theme for this weekend at church is "How will they know...?" Our church is VERY mission focused; 30%+ of our church budget goes to mission work, both locally and abroad. Pam and I are very mission minded so, we feel this church is where we belong.
We'll try to keep updating about what's going on there.
THE JOHNSON CHRONICLES: FOLLOW THE JOHNSON FAMILY'S UPS AND DOWNS!
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Friday, December 2, 2011
Another Year coming to an end
The end of 2011 is coming down the stretch! The kids are looking forward to Christmas, of course. What happened? I laid down to take a nap this summer and the next thing I know, I'm thinking about what we're doing for Christmas and New Year.
The Lord has kept us safe and secure. I don't know how any of you think about things, but prior to now, Pam and I have lived such a tension filled life together, that we actually looked at the possibility of a normal life with apprehension. Over the past12 years we've had a multitude of job gains and losses, and we've lived in 7 different cities in 9 different houses/apartments.
We gained 7 children and 2 grandchildren, and we lost one child. Our children span in ages from 10 to 36. So many different personalities, needs and wants. There are adults, high school, middle school, and elementary school students. We have one graduating this spring and that is weighing on our minds. Mine especially.
The kids at home are all strong and healthy. They are all Christians. It doesn't get any better than that. Now life is school, soccer, laundry and trips to the dentist.
I'm loving it.
The Lord has kept us safe and secure. I don't know how any of you think about things, but prior to now, Pam and I have lived such a tension filled life together, that we actually looked at the possibility of a normal life with apprehension. Over the past12 years we've had a multitude of job gains and losses, and we've lived in 7 different cities in 9 different houses/apartments.
We gained 7 children and 2 grandchildren, and we lost one child. Our children span in ages from 10 to 36. So many different personalities, needs and wants. There are adults, high school, middle school, and elementary school students. We have one graduating this spring and that is weighing on our minds. Mine especially.
The kids at home are all strong and healthy. They are all Christians. It doesn't get any better than that. Now life is school, soccer, laundry and trips to the dentist.
I'm loving it.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
My Journey
Over the last year several readers have asked me about my "before" life. Sometimes it is very difficult to talk about the hard things in life, but I do feel that it is time for me to share some of me.
In my growing up years, life was very difficult. My father was a very hard man. Our family did not attend any church. My brother, sister and I sometimes went to a church with the older lady across the street from us. Some of the live values I learned was to stay out of the way (away from dad) and that only you can make things happen. Very humanistic.
My father told me all of my life that no man would ever want to marry me. So of course, I married the first man that asked me. He turned out to be my father all over again, just 20 years younger. Why do we do this??? The only highlight of this marriage was my beautiful daughters, H and L. One night this man almost put me in the hospital (I ended up black and blue all over my legs and back, and had a black eye) I had finally had enough, and had developed enough strength and courage to take the girls and we left him. We moved from the south back up to NY to be near my mother (who had remarried) and a very close girlfriend. I should have left him years sooner, but you do only what you can at the time. I do still kick my self some about this.
In NY, I got the girls settled in school and found an apt. and started to learn to live again. I met a good man - He was my prince. At the time that I met him, I did not know that he had a very bad drinking problem. I was naive- and Bill was such a great guy. You have to understand that I had been around some really BAD guys- so drinking at meals didn't seem so bad to me at that time.
We got married, and I loved him so much. He really was a good guy. We ended up moving back to the south for his job. Than his company was bought out and in order to stay working we would have had to move to the mid west- He had kids in NY and I had kids in high school so we really did not want to move. He took early retirement and played golf everyday for about a year.
When he got bored of this, he bought our first restaurant. It was a NY style deli and bakery in a food court. We did have fun running this-- and after about 6-8 months, Bill bought a large full service, bar and restaurant. We had 40 employees and learned a lot about people and running restaurants. We however really didn't know what we were doing- The previous owner knew that a highway by-pass was almost finished and that new restaurants were going up out on the by pass that lead traffic around the city. We eventually had to close down the business and lay off all our employees. We didn't go bankrupt, and we paid off every creditor- (took me a long time). It was so difficult. Bill never got over this.
Between the 2 restaurants we lost everything we had- his retirement funds, my retirement funds, inheritances from his father and from his aunt, the money from our house in NY and from our house in Ky. We lost over a million dollars. I would love to have my retirement funds back.....
My first husband had been active in a church, but than would come home and was physically and mentally abusive to me. It did not give me a good picture of the church. My father gave me a horrible picture of a father. This made it hard to figure out where I really fit in this world. Bill was a radical atheist. He talked to people about it- He believed it. If all Christians would have befriended and talked to people like Bill did- boy what a difference. Our life style was very humanistic, NO God- No one who cared at all. With my background it was not difficult at all for me to follow right in Bills footsteps and become atheistic.
All thorough the years of the restaurants, Bill drank heavier and heavier. And it was easy, we owned a bar-- When we closed them, I took a job as an accountant. We needed the health insurance and the income. Bill never worked again. He started drinking first thing in the morning and I never knew what he would be like when I walked in the door at 5 after work. There were several Christians at my new job. Our life was hard- we had lost everything. I had lost my husband to the bottle.
I began looking for something that I could believe in. As I was questioning God, He sent lots of people into my life. Over several months, I was invited to go to a passion play (to a dress rehearsal). The minister of the church where this was held sat with me and explained parts of it as it went along. He talked to me about Christ and becoming a Christian. I decided at that time to trust Jesus as my Savior.
So, I went back to church on Sunday morning to do this! I put my full trust in Jesus on Palm Sunday 1997. After church, I went home and Bill and I talked about all of this-- I knew that it would make changes in our life. I really did not know how Bill would take my becoming a Christian. I do know that we loved each other. I also knew that I had a deep void in my life and only God could fill it. Bill listened to the plan of salvation (as much of it as I knew from that morning!) Bill did not accept Christ. He did not argue with me at all- He did say he did not want to be a church widow- and I said that I would not be in church everyday-- ;)
Monday, after Palm Sunday, I went to work and shared that I had become a believer. The beginning of that week was normal. Nothing different that I can even look back and see- Bill was drinking VERY heavy but that was not different. When I came home from work on Wed afternoon, I found my beloved husband dead. Unless you have been in this kind of place, you really do not know what it is like. I lost my best friend, my lover, my husband- yes, he drank, but he was a good guy. I still miss him. I am so glad that I found God in a deep real way before Bill passed away. I am not sure, I would have continued to "look" if I had not made that decision first. It is true, God knows what we need and what we can bare. That next months were almost unbearable. I was a new believer- so no Church family- I did have the Christians at my job, and I held onto that.
So, there I was a widow, broke, new empty-nester (my younger daughter moved to a city 5 hours south of me just a few months before Bill passed away) and my older daughter and my grand daughter lived in an apt several miles away. Empty condos are horrible. I am so glad that I had God, and I held onto Him.
After several months, Juan and I started to have dinner together- he was single and now I was, and we both had to eat. We had our first date more than a year later. We became really close friends. Juan had become a believer in his high school years. He was very stable in my big UPS and Downs-- Juan and I married in 2001. I am so glad that the Lord gave me another good guy- a Believer, my life is totally different than before. Juan is a bit younger than I am and he wanted children. That was the reason for our first adoption.Then the Lord placed on our hearts the great need to "take care of widows and orphans" and than the 2nd and 3rd adoptions just came as He saw fit.
Really, it is hard to write about years of "happenings" in a nutshell. I hope that this helps someone who is reading this. If you have been a reader of my blog, you know that I am totally open about everything- if you have questions or wonder about something- do not hesitate to ask me.
God is Good - ALL the time. I believe this and I am staking my life on this.
Blessings, Pamela Dawn
In my growing up years, life was very difficult. My father was a very hard man. Our family did not attend any church. My brother, sister and I sometimes went to a church with the older lady across the street from us. Some of the live values I learned was to stay out of the way (away from dad) and that only you can make things happen. Very humanistic.
My father told me all of my life that no man would ever want to marry me. So of course, I married the first man that asked me. He turned out to be my father all over again, just 20 years younger. Why do we do this??? The only highlight of this marriage was my beautiful daughters, H and L. One night this man almost put me in the hospital (I ended up black and blue all over my legs and back, and had a black eye) I had finally had enough, and had developed enough strength and courage to take the girls and we left him. We moved from the south back up to NY to be near my mother (who had remarried) and a very close girlfriend. I should have left him years sooner, but you do only what you can at the time. I do still kick my self some about this.
In NY, I got the girls settled in school and found an apt. and started to learn to live again. I met a good man - He was my prince. At the time that I met him, I did not know that he had a very bad drinking problem. I was naive- and Bill was such a great guy. You have to understand that I had been around some really BAD guys- so drinking at meals didn't seem so bad to me at that time.
We got married, and I loved him so much. He really was a good guy. We ended up moving back to the south for his job. Than his company was bought out and in order to stay working we would have had to move to the mid west- He had kids in NY and I had kids in high school so we really did not want to move. He took early retirement and played golf everyday for about a year.
When he got bored of this, he bought our first restaurant. It was a NY style deli and bakery in a food court. We did have fun running this-- and after about 6-8 months, Bill bought a large full service, bar and restaurant. We had 40 employees and learned a lot about people and running restaurants. We however really didn't know what we were doing- The previous owner knew that a highway by-pass was almost finished and that new restaurants were going up out on the by pass that lead traffic around the city. We eventually had to close down the business and lay off all our employees. We didn't go bankrupt, and we paid off every creditor- (took me a long time). It was so difficult. Bill never got over this.
Between the 2 restaurants we lost everything we had- his retirement funds, my retirement funds, inheritances from his father and from his aunt, the money from our house in NY and from our house in Ky. We lost over a million dollars. I would love to have my retirement funds back.....
My first husband had been active in a church, but than would come home and was physically and mentally abusive to me. It did not give me a good picture of the church. My father gave me a horrible picture of a father. This made it hard to figure out where I really fit in this world. Bill was a radical atheist. He talked to people about it- He believed it. If all Christians would have befriended and talked to people like Bill did- boy what a difference. Our life style was very humanistic, NO God- No one who cared at all. With my background it was not difficult at all for me to follow right in Bills footsteps and become atheistic.
All thorough the years of the restaurants, Bill drank heavier and heavier. And it was easy, we owned a bar-- When we closed them, I took a job as an accountant. We needed the health insurance and the income. Bill never worked again. He started drinking first thing in the morning and I never knew what he would be like when I walked in the door at 5 after work. There were several Christians at my new job. Our life was hard- we had lost everything. I had lost my husband to the bottle.
I began looking for something that I could believe in. As I was questioning God, He sent lots of people into my life. Over several months, I was invited to go to a passion play (to a dress rehearsal). The minister of the church where this was held sat with me and explained parts of it as it went along. He talked to me about Christ and becoming a Christian. I decided at that time to trust Jesus as my Savior.
So, I went back to church on Sunday morning to do this! I put my full trust in Jesus on Palm Sunday 1997. After church, I went home and Bill and I talked about all of this-- I knew that it would make changes in our life. I really did not know how Bill would take my becoming a Christian. I do know that we loved each other. I also knew that I had a deep void in my life and only God could fill it. Bill listened to the plan of salvation (as much of it as I knew from that morning!) Bill did not accept Christ. He did not argue with me at all- He did say he did not want to be a church widow- and I said that I would not be in church everyday-- ;)
Monday, after Palm Sunday, I went to work and shared that I had become a believer. The beginning of that week was normal. Nothing different that I can even look back and see- Bill was drinking VERY heavy but that was not different. When I came home from work on Wed afternoon, I found my beloved husband dead. Unless you have been in this kind of place, you really do not know what it is like. I lost my best friend, my lover, my husband- yes, he drank, but he was a good guy. I still miss him. I am so glad that I found God in a deep real way before Bill passed away. I am not sure, I would have continued to "look" if I had not made that decision first. It is true, God knows what we need and what we can bare. That next months were almost unbearable. I was a new believer- so no Church family- I did have the Christians at my job, and I held onto that.
So, there I was a widow, broke, new empty-nester (my younger daughter moved to a city 5 hours south of me just a few months before Bill passed away) and my older daughter and my grand daughter lived in an apt several miles away. Empty condos are horrible. I am so glad that I had God, and I held onto Him.
After several months, Juan and I started to have dinner together- he was single and now I was, and we both had to eat. We had our first date more than a year later. We became really close friends. Juan had become a believer in his high school years. He was very stable in my big UPS and Downs-- Juan and I married in 2001. I am so glad that the Lord gave me another good guy- a Believer, my life is totally different than before. Juan is a bit younger than I am and he wanted children. That was the reason for our first adoption.Then the Lord placed on our hearts the great need to "take care of widows and orphans" and than the 2nd and 3rd adoptions just came as He saw fit.
Really, it is hard to write about years of "happenings" in a nutshell. I hope that this helps someone who is reading this. If you have been a reader of my blog, you know that I am totally open about everything- if you have questions or wonder about something- do not hesitate to ask me.
God is Good - ALL the time. I believe this and I am staking my life on this.
Blessings, Pamela Dawn
Saturday, November 21, 2009
We're all doing fine
Our son "C" is doing well. He called me on his way home the other day and was happy to be out and about. His doctors will have to ascertain whether it is best to keep him "in" and work with him or put him before a medical board and perhaps medically retire him. We'll see what the Lord decides.
Thank you all again for all of your prayers.
Our landlord had to pull the carpet out, and Pam talked him into just leaving the old vinyl flooring the way it was. We'd much rather put out area rugs that we could roll up in future flood situations. We finally got the kids computer hooked up and running last night, they missed it terribly. We had moved it out of the family room and didn't have anywhere to set up a temporary station for it.
We lost a lot of momentos in the garage. That was the thing that hurt the most. We've been slow about moving things into the house to hang up, and had much less room to put them around to display...now they're gone. Oh well, on to making more memories!
Report cards came out. We got 2 honor roll kids, and 1 that had all highest marks (too young for honor yet). We have one that's struggling fiercely. The new ones are all progressing well and working hard.
Funny story:
"A", our 8th grade daughter, was in line to get her H1N1 flu shot at school. The person at the desk asked for her name. For most people in 8th grade that's normally not a problem. Well, we changed all of the children's first names when we brought them home. However, we'd been dragging our feet about re-adoptions, so their legal names are still their birth names. They have to remember that when asked. The school uses their legal name. Ok, still not a problem, if you've spent your life spelling your name in English letters...which she hadn't. She hesitated first because she couldn't remember it, then again when she was asked to spell it. She saw the name on the paper and pointed to it and said, "There, that's it." What made it even more difficult for her is that the school had had it misspelled for the first couple of months before we finally got someone to correct it, so she wasn't sure if they had it right or not. Then the lady asked for her birthday! LOL She knows what day her birthday is, but couldn't remember what year it is because she just used to responding with how old she is. LOL (With the Ethiopian calendar being nothing like ours, it makes it hard for her to transition)
By the way, we just finished our re-adoption of our first 3 (L, H, & J) and are waiting for some letter from the Dept of something or other that allows us to get their new birth certificates.
We have to start on our next three. We did the 1st 3 in NC, the next 3 will be in VA. Is there anyone out there who've done re-adoptions in VA by themselves? I found this one web site that tell you how to do it (for Norfolk residents) and I just need a little help in understanding some of the steps and documents.
Thanks
Juan
Thank you all again for all of your prayers.
Our landlord had to pull the carpet out, and Pam talked him into just leaving the old vinyl flooring the way it was. We'd much rather put out area rugs that we could roll up in future flood situations. We finally got the kids computer hooked up and running last night, they missed it terribly. We had moved it out of the family room and didn't have anywhere to set up a temporary station for it.
We lost a lot of momentos in the garage. That was the thing that hurt the most. We've been slow about moving things into the house to hang up, and had much less room to put them around to display...now they're gone. Oh well, on to making more memories!
Report cards came out. We got 2 honor roll kids, and 1 that had all highest marks (too young for honor yet). We have one that's struggling fiercely. The new ones are all progressing well and working hard.
Funny story:
"A", our 8th grade daughter, was in line to get her H1N1 flu shot at school. The person at the desk asked for her name. For most people in 8th grade that's normally not a problem. Well, we changed all of the children's first names when we brought them home. However, we'd been dragging our feet about re-adoptions, so their legal names are still their birth names. They have to remember that when asked. The school uses their legal name. Ok, still not a problem, if you've spent your life spelling your name in English letters...which she hadn't. She hesitated first because she couldn't remember it, then again when she was asked to spell it. She saw the name on the paper and pointed to it and said, "There, that's it." What made it even more difficult for her is that the school had had it misspelled for the first couple of months before we finally got someone to correct it, so she wasn't sure if they had it right or not. Then the lady asked for her birthday! LOL She knows what day her birthday is, but couldn't remember what year it is because she just used to responding with how old she is. LOL (With the Ethiopian calendar being nothing like ours, it makes it hard for her to transition)
By the way, we just finished our re-adoption of our first 3 (L, H, & J) and are waiting for some letter from the Dept of something or other that allows us to get their new birth certificates.
We have to start on our next three. We did the 1st 3 in NC, the next 3 will be in VA. Is there anyone out there who've done re-adoptions in VA by themselves? I found this one web site that tell you how to do it (for Norfolk residents) and I just need a little help in understanding some of the steps and documents.
Thanks
Juan
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Home Again, Home Again!
It's finally over - four weeks of training, sitting in a classroom 8 hours a day, trying to pay attention and retain so much information, and tests upon tests. Eating out 3 meals a day for fours weeks is not all what it's cracked up to be. I missed Pam's cooking, with a passion. Thankfully I was able to come home on the weekends; some of the students came from too far away to go home on the weekends.
Richmond VA (Virginia's capital - for the geography challenged among us) is an interesting phenomenon of beautiful buildings and old south charm, but it's downtown area is so many desolate empty buildings lining the streets. There are some whole city blocks of vacant buildings. Thankfully there are a few buildings being remodeled for re-use, but the city doesn't look like what one would imagine a capital city would look like.
I've got a long "honey-do" list to get into. I'm going to have to dig deep to make it up to Pam for being the great lone soldier while I was gone. I was as frugal as I could be in saving my travel per diem up to we could afford to take the kids to Busch Gardens in Williamsburg next month.
School starts a week from Tuesday. The kids are getting anxious to meet new friends and teachers. With 7 kids in 4 different schools, it's going to be a hard and long process to get into a comfortable rhythm.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Whew!
It has been a whirlwind summer so far. I know I have not posted as much as I normally have. There are lots of reasons...Our trip to Africa which just about did my legs in. (I have had horrible leg cramps since then), husband's loss of his job, and my hours at work changing and being cut back. Add to this 3 new little ones - 7 total. That has doubled all my life chores, i.e. laundry and meals - lots of meals!! We had my daughter and her family come with friends in tow.
Then Juan gets a new job and has training out of town - for a month! In the middle of this we moved to a new city, into another home. I had to pack the hold house, and change utilities. I had to do the entire move by myself because Juan doesn't have any vacation time yet. I had to register the kids into 4 new schools, talk with all the guidance counselors, set up ESL, set up testing, take the kids for physicals, and immunisations.
Now this obviously isn't my first adoption, but this adoption just sent me into huge postpartum "baby blues". Who am I kidding; I am (was) flat out depressed. Then, on top of the depression, I was feeling guilty that I was depressed. I was afraid to talk to anyone about it since I'm the one that wanted to adopt - so why would I be depressed? I was also afraid to talk about it because depression is so misunderstood. Well meaning people wanting to to say that it is a spiritual problem. "Just get right with God." I know that I am totally right with God and I'm still depressed! Depression is an illness and it can get better or worse - but it is treatable. I am so thankful that I have a good doctor and I am now being treated. I am also thankful for my closest friends who have been with me through this the whole time. I feel a lot better and I am not crying all day!
Each day I am becoming more and more like my old self. So if I've missed returning any e-mails - email again! I am on the road back!
Then Juan gets a new job and has training out of town - for a month! In the middle of this we moved to a new city, into another home. I had to pack the hold house, and change utilities. I had to do the entire move by myself because Juan doesn't have any vacation time yet. I had to register the kids into 4 new schools, talk with all the guidance counselors, set up ESL, set up testing, take the kids for physicals, and immunisations.
Now this obviously isn't my first adoption, but this adoption just sent me into huge postpartum "baby blues". Who am I kidding; I am (was) flat out depressed. Then, on top of the depression, I was feeling guilty that I was depressed. I was afraid to talk to anyone about it since I'm the one that wanted to adopt - so why would I be depressed? I was also afraid to talk about it because depression is so misunderstood. Well meaning people wanting to to say that it is a spiritual problem. "Just get right with God." I know that I am totally right with God and I'm still depressed! Depression is an illness and it can get better or worse - but it is treatable. I am so thankful that I have a good doctor and I am now being treated. I am also thankful for my closest friends who have been with me through this the whole time. I feel a lot better and I am not crying all day!
Each day I am becoming more and more like my old self. So if I've missed returning any e-mails - email again! I am on the road back!
Thursday, June 18, 2009
One month today!
It has been one month today that we met our babies - the new recruits to the Johnson Clan. WOW! If every month flies this fast, before we have a chance to get to know them they'll be bringing home their babies.
Spending all day, every day with a person, it's amazing how quickly can get to know each other. Now, having a language barrier makes it a little difficult, but that becomes part of the dynamic. We've been able to get around that barrier because Leah has been our resident interpreter. That has been such a HUGE blessing. A large part of the beginning stages of adopting older children from another country is the communication. There's getting them to understand where they are, why they are here, what are our expectations, what are the new rules they live under etc.
Even with Leah, we don't get a lot of communication from their side of the relationship, but they're kids. They're still trying to get through the shock of it all. Well, a trade off for having someone here to interpret everything for us is that children - and probably adults - tend to slow down their language learning process. The boys still have not learned to put any sentences together on their own. We still get one word responses and requests - "TV, toilet, bicycle, play, water, etc." Zoe, on the other hand, is making three and four word sentences, both in responses and requests. Obviously, that has a lot to do with being a girl, and some to do with her character.
Zoe is extremely extroverted. She tends not to want to be by herself. She thrives on being the center of attention, and leans toward being a drama queen. Her expressions are grandiose, and her voice loud and bubbly. When we have our family time at the dinner table, you can see that Zoe is just busting at the seams waiting for her turn to say something. (Waiting your turn is a constant learning subject with all three). She's quick to shed a tear if she feels offended or is hurt while playing, but she will quickly change gears when she sees it's not getting her anywhere. So that tells me she's adaptable. Zoe loves to laugh and will frequently laugh so hard, tears come streaming down her face - it's a delight to see. With so many new big sisters and brothers around, she's learned that she's not the boss anymore, so that's subsided greatly. Her tiny stature sometimes makes me forget that she's eight and not five.
Davis is very quiet, even among his birth siblings. He loves riding his bicycle more than anything else. He has no problem asking for things. Of course, I have no problem saying, no. We're working diligently on getting him to use full sentences - or phrases. Because of his extremely dark complexion, other children teased him a lot so he's a little more sensitive than most. He tends to be a whiner, something we have to work on - we're not family that puts up with whiners and tattle-tails. Davis loves to laugh, and is ultra-ticklish. You even look like you're going to tickle him and he starts shrieking with laughter. He was the first get his medical physical done and he's in very good condition(still waiting on lab results). With only one good pediatrician on this beach, getting an appointment is hard. The funny thing is, Davis is matchstick thin but his weight is "average" on the growth chart. You can count his ribs and the boy's knees are wider than his legs, people! Ethiopians have denser bones and muscle tissue is all I can say. I don't see this as being a life long problem, because this boy can EAT. He'll eat as much as I do, and eats faster than anyone at the table. That is a habit formed in Ethiopia (a long story that we've not quite gotten the grasp of yet)
Justin's extreme shyness is his major character trait. When he does speak (which is very infrequently) you can barely hear him. When he speaks or when we talk to him he looks down at the floor. He's slow to try new things (other than food, he's a good eater). He has a quick and easy smile, that will keep him out of trouble at school. I think he's going to be our atheletic one, and he loves soccer. He's a bit air headed (we say blond) so we're continually having to remind him of the family rules and expectations. He's also a bit clumsy when playing with the little ones, so we have frequently remind him to be careful.
I've started a reading program we found on-line, "Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Lessons" So far, so good. It's supposed to be able to teach them to read at the 2nd grade level by the time you get to the end. That will be great for Zoe and Davis. Justin will have some major issues, obviously. We are going to have some major education issues with all of them because they can't read, even in their own language. But hey, what good is a roller coaster without a few loopy-loops? Right?
We're ready for the ride of our lives. All hands up! WHOOOOHOOOO!!!
Spending all day, every day with a person, it's amazing how quickly can get to know each other. Now, having a language barrier makes it a little difficult, but that becomes part of the dynamic. We've been able to get around that barrier because Leah has been our resident interpreter. That has been such a HUGE blessing. A large part of the beginning stages of adopting older children from another country is the communication. There's getting them to understand where they are, why they are here, what are our expectations, what are the new rules they live under etc.
Even with Leah, we don't get a lot of communication from their side of the relationship, but they're kids. They're still trying to get through the shock of it all. Well, a trade off for having someone here to interpret everything for us is that children - and probably adults - tend to slow down their language learning process. The boys still have not learned to put any sentences together on their own. We still get one word responses and requests - "TV, toilet, bicycle, play, water, etc." Zoe, on the other hand, is making three and four word sentences, both in responses and requests. Obviously, that has a lot to do with being a girl, and some to do with her character.
Zoe is extremely extroverted. She tends not to want to be by herself. She thrives on being the center of attention, and leans toward being a drama queen. Her expressions are grandiose, and her voice loud and bubbly. When we have our family time at the dinner table, you can see that Zoe is just busting at the seams waiting for her turn to say something. (Waiting your turn is a constant learning subject with all three). She's quick to shed a tear if she feels offended or is hurt while playing, but she will quickly change gears when she sees it's not getting her anywhere. So that tells me she's adaptable. Zoe loves to laugh and will frequently laugh so hard, tears come streaming down her face - it's a delight to see. With so many new big sisters and brothers around, she's learned that she's not the boss anymore, so that's subsided greatly. Her tiny stature sometimes makes me forget that she's eight and not five.
Davis is very quiet, even among his birth siblings. He loves riding his bicycle more than anything else. He has no problem asking for things. Of course, I have no problem saying, no. We're working diligently on getting him to use full sentences - or phrases. Because of his extremely dark complexion, other children teased him a lot so he's a little more sensitive than most. He tends to be a whiner, something we have to work on - we're not family that puts up with whiners and tattle-tails. Davis loves to laugh, and is ultra-ticklish. You even look like you're going to tickle him and he starts shrieking with laughter. He was the first get his medical physical done and he's in very good condition(still waiting on lab results). With only one good pediatrician on this beach, getting an appointment is hard. The funny thing is, Davis is matchstick thin but his weight is "average" on the growth chart. You can count his ribs and the boy's knees are wider than his legs, people! Ethiopians have denser bones and muscle tissue is all I can say. I don't see this as being a life long problem, because this boy can EAT. He'll eat as much as I do, and eats faster than anyone at the table. That is a habit formed in Ethiopia (a long story that we've not quite gotten the grasp of yet)
Justin's extreme shyness is his major character trait. When he does speak (which is very infrequently) you can barely hear him. When he speaks or when we talk to him he looks down at the floor. He's slow to try new things (other than food, he's a good eater). He has a quick and easy smile, that will keep him out of trouble at school. I think he's going to be our atheletic one, and he loves soccer. He's a bit air headed (we say blond) so we're continually having to remind him of the family rules and expectations. He's also a bit clumsy when playing with the little ones, so we have frequently remind him to be careful.
I've started a reading program we found on-line, "Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Lessons" So far, so good. It's supposed to be able to teach them to read at the 2nd grade level by the time you get to the end. That will be great for Zoe and Davis. Justin will have some major issues, obviously. We are going to have some major education issues with all of them because they can't read, even in their own language. But hey, what good is a roller coaster without a few loopy-loops? Right?
We're ready for the ride of our lives. All hands up! WHOOOOHOOOO!!!
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
How can I say no?
12 years ago when I took Jesus serious at His invitation, I said "Yes" to Him and gave Him my life and my life has never been the same since. I have chosen this road I'm on and I can not say no to Jesus. Oh, He allows me to choose to say yes or no, but how can I say no?
At times people ask us why we are doing what we are doing. People sometimes think we're crazy or foolish. What they don't understand is that to say no to a child in need is to say no to Jesus. To turn my back on someone I can help is to turn my back on my Lord.
I spent my first 44 years living my own life to please myself. My goal was to be successful - in the world's definition of success - and at times I was very successful, but I was so unhappy inside. I knew deep down inside that there had to have been so much more to life than just what the world viewed as success.
As I matured in my walk with Jesus, I got serious about what it was He wanted out of my life. He was serious when He said, "Take care of the poor and defenseless orphans." How could I say no to a beautiful little boy that had special needs as he languished in an orphanage in China? How could I say no to these two sibling groups of brothers and sisters as they struggled for survival in Ethiopia? So many others had said no to them. I would be saying no to God. My God is big enough to help me. He pours His love and nurturing through me so that I can be a loving and nurturing mom to these older orphaned children. I will not say no to God. I have to say yes, even if He places more kids in our hearts and minds.
Sure, I would love to travel the world as I did before them. I would love to buy another sports car. I would love to live in a swanky loft in the big city. That would be me all the way. But it's not about me...is it? That is not what I am called to do. My life is not my own. I am bought and paid for, I belong to Jesus.
Maybe when my little ones are grown and gone I'll see that sports car or that loft, or maybe not. My reward may wait until Heaven. But, I'm not taking this journey for a reward. God has called me and I'm being obedient because I love and trust Him. How can we say we love the Lord God but live in comfort while the unloved go unloved? How can we say we love the Lord Jesus while the orphaned stay orphans, or while the street kids roam the streets? How can I say I love the Lord and stand idle as the poor become poorer and are exploited by the rich? Loving the fatherless, loving the abandoned and loving the seemingly hopeless requires a sacrifice.
This road will be long, lonely and VERY difficult. I may be misunderstood, unappreciated, and maybe even scorned by the very ones that have been put into my life. But Jesus NEVER said that it was going to easy, full of songs and flowers and earthly rewards. I know this, but how can I say no? The true Christian walk is not a walk in the park, picking flowers and singing love songs to the Lord. He put his here to love Him. To love Him is to serve Him. To serve Him is to serve those whom He loves. Parenthood is a life of service.
How can I say no to them when they need me - He did not say no to me.
At times people ask us why we are doing what we are doing. People sometimes think we're crazy or foolish. What they don't understand is that to say no to a child in need is to say no to Jesus. To turn my back on someone I can help is to turn my back on my Lord.
I spent my first 44 years living my own life to please myself. My goal was to be successful - in the world's definition of success - and at times I was very successful, but I was so unhappy inside. I knew deep down inside that there had to have been so much more to life than just what the world viewed as success.
As I matured in my walk with Jesus, I got serious about what it was He wanted out of my life. He was serious when He said, "Take care of the poor and defenseless orphans." How could I say no to a beautiful little boy that had special needs as he languished in an orphanage in China? How could I say no to these two sibling groups of brothers and sisters as they struggled for survival in Ethiopia? So many others had said no to them. I would be saying no to God. My God is big enough to help me. He pours His love and nurturing through me so that I can be a loving and nurturing mom to these older orphaned children. I will not say no to God. I have to say yes, even if He places more kids in our hearts and minds.
Sure, I would love to travel the world as I did before them. I would love to buy another sports car. I would love to live in a swanky loft in the big city. That would be me all the way. But it's not about me...is it? That is not what I am called to do. My life is not my own. I am bought and paid for, I belong to Jesus.
Maybe when my little ones are grown and gone I'll see that sports car or that loft, or maybe not. My reward may wait until Heaven. But, I'm not taking this journey for a reward. God has called me and I'm being obedient because I love and trust Him. How can we say we love the Lord God but live in comfort while the unloved go unloved? How can we say we love the Lord Jesus while the orphaned stay orphans, or while the street kids roam the streets? How can I say I love the Lord and stand idle as the poor become poorer and are exploited by the rich? Loving the fatherless, loving the abandoned and loving the seemingly hopeless requires a sacrifice.
This road will be long, lonely and VERY difficult. I may be misunderstood, unappreciated, and maybe even scorned by the very ones that have been put into my life. But Jesus NEVER said that it was going to easy, full of songs and flowers and earthly rewards. I know this, but how can I say no? The true Christian walk is not a walk in the park, picking flowers and singing love songs to the Lord. He put his here to love Him. To love Him is to serve Him. To serve Him is to serve those whom He loves. Parenthood is a life of service.
How can I say no to them when they need me - He did not say no to me.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
We're HOME!!
Well, here we are...Exhausted but elated none-the-less. Our "babies" are home in our arms. Justin, Zoe, and Davis. I'm going to make this brief and then the details will start coming in, in short quips as I have time.
Suffice it to say that the trip though short, made profound impacts on our lives. This was not only because of the three new lives joining us, but for the experiences we had in Ethiopia. The Lord had several divine appointments for us while we were there. We met some beautiful Christian people. We saw some heart wrending scenes. We took in some very interesting experiences. And again, our lives were changed because of all of it.
Ethiopia is full of beautiful people - both poor and rich, living basically side-by-side. We met many adoptive families in Ethiopia, that was heart lightening - even if there were 20 some crying babies on the plane ride home!
We got to experience the deep, deep love of a church family that does not hesitate to step in and do whatever is needed - Brenda, Linda, & Nancy - took care of our babies while we were gone. We will forever be indebted (a debt of love) to them. May the Lord pour out tremendous blessings on them.
Nancy kept up our blog for us while we were gone. She writes better than I do.
Much, much more to come.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Why the name changes?
We've been asked why do we choose to change our children's names. Adoptive parents have a choice to change or not change their children's names.
- When Pam and I bring our children home, changing their names gives us as parents that sense of primary parenthood because we named them. (That may sound shallow to some, but it's meaningful to us)
- We try to parallel the Lord's adoption of us. When we became Christians, we became new creatures with new lives, new cultures, and new languages to learn. Several times, He gave his newly adopted children new names (i.e. Abram/Abraham, Jacob/Israel, Saul/Paul)
- Some of our children have fairly difficult names to pronounce (There are people who still screw up my name). We wanted to ease their problems in school. Try on Netsanet, Tseganesh, Bereket, Fujian, Meron, Efraim, and Tsegahun. A couple of them are not too difficult.
- We have retained their birth names in the legal names. Their birth names and family names will become their "middle names". So once they reach adulthood/college they can go by any name they choose.
Some adoptive parents change names, some don't. We know one family that has changed some of their children's names and not the others.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Life is Good!
Spring is here and summer is around the corner:
- I spent last Saturday at 3 different kids' soccer games.
- Our schedule calendar had only about 3 days with nothing on it for this month (No wait, that's just being a big family!)
- Yesterday, Pam went to watch the sunrise at the beach with a couple of her close friends (Imagine a beach chair, some hot coffee, warm sun, a cool morning breeze & good friends).
- Our dog, who normally hates the outdoors, (We sometimes call her Miss Princess) takes about 10 minutes to do her business now before she decides to come back in.
- The boys are wearing shorts and sandals to school.
- Kids at school are starting to get into more and more trouble (The girls are telling us about drug busts, bomb scares, fights- and these are "good" schools)
- I'm wearing shorts and sandals everyday now.
- We only have 3 weeks before we go to Ethiopia!!!
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Monthly update
Our adoption agency, CWA has started something new; they will be sending out monthly updates of the children. This is a fantastic idea, even if they miss a month here or there, it is reassuring to get them. On the update is a picture of the child (separate from siblings), age and measurements. Of course the reliability of the measurements is very questionable. The one we received the other day has the two youngest growing an inch or two and the oldest losing almost two inches since that last update we received.
They also have each of them losing two years in age. Pam and I are hoping this was just a clerical error because that would put the youngest one in kindergarten - Pam has had enough of kindergarten, let me tell ya. We had each of our boys repeat kindergarten in order to gain both academically and maturity. This would be five years of kindergarten Mommy - not something she's looking forward to.
Then the shock of all shocks...they shaved our baby girl's head. I'm sure it done in order to help treat some type of fungal infection, but it was shocking none-the-less. She has about a quarter to half inch of hair on her little head. I was almost in tears imagining how she must have cried so hard when they did that to her. She's still the cutest little peanut with a precious smile.
The middle one, we expected to see a cast on his arm because his medical report said he had a healing fracture of the elbow. No cast. Shrug. Either the medical report was wrong, or they didn't put a cast on it for long. We'll have to remember to have an x-ray of both of his arm's when they finally get home.
We are STILL waiting for our I-171 form from the INS!! We've written twice and our social worker has written once, to no avail.
Merry Christmas!
They also have each of them losing two years in age. Pam and I are hoping this was just a clerical error because that would put the youngest one in kindergarten - Pam has had enough of kindergarten, let me tell ya. We had each of our boys repeat kindergarten in order to gain both academically and maturity. This would be five years of kindergarten Mommy - not something she's looking forward to.
Then the shock of all shocks...they shaved our baby girl's head. I'm sure it done in order to help treat some type of fungal infection, but it was shocking none-the-less. She has about a quarter to half inch of hair on her little head. I was almost in tears imagining how she must have cried so hard when they did that to her. She's still the cutest little peanut with a precious smile.
The middle one, we expected to see a cast on his arm because his medical report said he had a healing fracture of the elbow. No cast. Shrug. Either the medical report was wrong, or they didn't put a cast on it for long. We'll have to remember to have an x-ray of both of his arm's when they finally get home.
We are STILL waiting for our I-171 form from the INS!! We've written twice and our social worker has written once, to no avail.
Merry Christmas!
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